Why I started loving hate mail.
BY EMILY MAY
There is nothing like a fresh batch of hate mail to get me motivated. Back when we first started Hollaback!, hate mail made me feel so crappy inside. What can I say? I was socialized to be a girl and make everyone like me — even the people I didn’t really like. It took a while for me to re-socialize as an activist and realize that you’re not making change unless you’re pissing people off.
Allow me to geek out on nonprofit-performance-management stuff for a second, but it is really hard to measure social and behavioral change in society. Is Hollaback! succeeding when we get more stories or less? How do we know when people have the “click” moment that makes them stop harassing? How do we know how we contributed to it? Hate mail seems like as good of a metric as any. So bring it, haters. We’re quite pleased with ourselves that our vision of a world without street harassment has made you so deeply uncomfortable.
And now, a message from our hater of the day. Typos were left intact. Oh, and I should put a RAGE warning on this:
“WOMEN KNOW WOMEN ARE ALWAYS TO BLAME. WOMEN ARE THE TROUBLE STARTER. WOMEN ARE ALWAYS GUILTY. WOMEN HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE ON THIS PLANET. YOU KNOW WHERE YOU BELONG. WHY DONT YOU LEAVE… I AM USA WASHINGTON DC CAPITOL DISCTRICT OFFICIAL. I AM USA LAW. I SEE STRAIGHT THROUGH THIS HOAX OF WOMEN. YOU WOMEN ALWASY ASSAULT AND BATTERIZE EVERYONE. YOU WANT EVERYONE TO BE YOUR SLAVE. YOU ALL ARE SO EVIL. OTHER THAN EVIL WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO? QUIT SLAVING THE POLICE AROUND THE TOWN LIKE CLOWNS.”
Back to Basics: What is Street Harassment?
BY VICTORIA TRAVERS
Sometimes we have to return to the basics. It is important for us to explain exactly what constitutes “Street Harassment” for our new readers as well as consolidating the knowledge of our existing audience. I speak to many people that are aware, vaguely aware, unaware or totally unsure of what is appropriate in public spaces. This is because the perennial problem of street harassment is something we are used to and have come to accept and ignore. So now it’s time to set the record straight.
Street Harassment is any form of behavior, verbal or physical, between strangers in a public space that is unwanted, disrespectful, threatening or violent. The best way to know if this has happened to you is to ask yourself how the abuser/incident has made you feel, if you feel ashamed, angered or forced to stare at the floor, walk faster or dive into a shop – you should not tolerate it and you should definitely Hollaback!
Street Harassment affects everyone, men, women and LGBTQ folk, although statistically it happens to certain groups more frequently than others, not a single individual on the planet is impervious to it. It manifests itself in all manner of ways from wolf whistles to assault. Popular Anti –Street Harassment site Stop Street Harassment has defined the varying types of street harassment:
“It ranges from leers, whistles, honks, kissing noises, and non-sexually explicit evaluative comments, to more insulting and threatening behavior like vulgar gestures, sexually charged comments, flashing, and stalking, to illegal actions like public masturbation, sexual touching, assault, and murder.”
A few months ago I met a man via my husband who asked me “where do you draw the line in street harassment?” It is interesting because I do not believe that he was a pervert or a mean person, just an ignorant product of the “boys will be boys” mentality that trivializes the act of abusing another person on the street. He continued:
“Well what exactly can I say to a woman on the street?”
For this poor chap, my advice was that it was probably best for him to say nothing at all and maybe he should imagine being bound by an imaginary line that forever lies just ahead of him. I could not blame him entirely because we are constantly exposed to images that suggest such behavior is acceptable. There is a scene in “The Hangover” where the characters cruise a cop car down the Vegas strip, using the loud speaker Bradley Cooper’s character informs a woman on the street something to the effect of “you have an awesome rack”, having already accepted the other humorous parts of the movie so it is widely accepted as “harmless fun”. However, I am sure the majority of people out there would not like to have their “rack” or any other part of them referred to by a total stranger on the street.
Regardless of sex, creed, color or choice of outfit everyone has the right to feel safe and confident on the streets without fear of any varying violation of their person or personal space. We have the power to end street harassment and we will. Join the revolution, it’s freakin’ awesome!
Meet Some Trailblazing Transgender Individuals
BY VICTORIA TRAVERS
Yesterday, on the 13th International Transgender Day of Remembrance, we spared a quiet moment to not only mourn the loss of murdered transgender individuals but to raise awareness of the daily dangers and struggles faced by transgender people all over the world. This annual event began 13 years ago following the brutal stabbing and still unsolved murder of vivacious Rita Hester.
The Huffington Post published a wonderful article entitled “Transgender day of Remembrance: 20 Trans Pioneers”celebrating 20 inspirational and trailblazing transgender men and women that have fought their way into the public domain to raise awareness and give the transgender community a voice.
The article includes a slide show of 20 awe-inspiring men and women including college basketball player Kye Allums, “America’s Next Top Model” contestant Isis, actress Candis Cayne, Marci Bowers M.D and “DWTS” Chaz Bono. Their unique stories are testament to the fact that change is possible when you have a voice and you use it.
Here’s two examples to get you started!
The amazing Kye Allums, the first transgender student basketball player.
Gender reassignment surgeon extraordinaire Marci Bowers M.D.
OWS: All Day, All Night, Occupy Women’s Rights!
BY VICTORIA TRAVERS
Over 100 people, the majority of which were women, peacefully marched from Zuccotti Park to the NYPD’s first Precinct HQ on Tuesday night to demand that all OWS females in police custody be treated with respect. This action comes after complaints that male officers patrolling the female cells had been violating protocol.
According to the OWS website male police officers were allegedly patrolling female cells unannounced, specifically by the communal female lavatories that are in full view of all women and officers. This is apparently a common method used to humiliate those in custody.
Protesters demand that the NYPD release an official statement to promise that there would be no more instances of humiliation and that the issue be addressed. The crowd could be heard chanting:
“All day, all night, occupy women’s rights!” and “Courtesy, professionalism and respect” also “If you see something, say something!”
We at Hollaback! extend our support to all those that have suffered this terrible injustice. If anyone has any information please contact the complaint line and demand that Commissioner Ray Kelly put an end to this behavior. Call NYPD Internal Affairs: 212.487.7350 or directly NYPD 1st Precinct: 212.334.0611
OWS message to the NYPD: If you SEE something, a fellow officer violating protocol, say something.
http://occupywallst.org/
Halloween with a Conscience: Honor Your Feminist Ancestors in Costume
BY NICOLA BRIGGS
Each year, both men and women have three basic choices for Halloween.
1.) Go costume-less, maybe with a nod to the day by wearing all black, or wear a t-shirt that says “Costume”:
“Halloween means nothing to me, and I’m sure-as-hell not going to make an ass out of myself….again.”
2.) Go all-out, and start hand-sewing the costume the day after last year’s Halloween, like you’re preparing to join a professional samba school for Carnival:
“Halloween, or Samhain, as it should be called, is the best day to honor the dissolving of the walls between the material world and the spiritual world. That is why I have brought dried sage to burn for all of you.”
(full disclosure: I’m allowed to make fun of this, because it was my Celtic ancestors who were probably dancing around naked in the woods…)
3.) Throw something together, either kick-ass or lame-ass, really doesn’t matter at this point, a scant two hours before the office party: “I worked 80 hours last week, not including overtime, and didn’t really have time to plan for this, but I’ll be damned if I’m the only one without a costume this year.”
I’d like to encourage you to go with options b) or c). All kidding aside, option b) might actually be the best (even if you’re too late for the obsessive planning-ahead component), because it speaks to the actual meaning of the day. Samhain, which predates All Hallow’s Eve, was traditionally a time for reflection and meditation on death, and a way to honor one’s actual or spiritual ancestors. It’s basically an opportunity to celebrate those who lived before you. Which makes it an ideal time to remember those many women and men who have made a significant difference to later generations of women, chiefly in the areas of race, class and gender equality and opportunity. I’m thinking of the great feminists from around the globe, not only the ones with whom we are familiar. Consider this: You can’t walk out of the door in costume on Halloween without somebody asking, “Who are you supposed to be?” Let’s give others something to think about, by going as (in no particular order):
- Ida B. Wells-Barnett (1862-1931), African-American anti-lynching crusader, suffragist.
- Dolores Jiménez y Muro (1848-1925), Socialist reformer of the Mexican Revolution.
- John Stuart Mill (1806–1873), English philosopher, women’s rights advocate.
- Lovisa Arberg (1801–1881), first woman doctor and surgeon in Sweden.
- Concepcion Arenal (1820-1893), founder of the Feminist movement in Spain.
- Mariama Bâ (1929–1981), Senegalese author and feminist against polygamy.
- Christine de Pizan (1363–c.1430), late medieval author who challenged misogyny.
- Tomáš Masaryk (1850–1937), leading Czechoslovakian proponent of women’s rights.
- Hiratsuka Raichō (1886–1971), political activist and pioneering Japanese feminist.
I’ve purposely chosen individuals who may not be household names but who’ have certainly changed the world in which we live. If you “go” as one of them, or some other notable figure, you’ve got an opportunity to start a real conversation. So let’s have fun today, be true to one’s self and our spiritual ancestors.
Happy trick-or-treating!
Domestic Violence and Women in Leadership
BY HOLLABACK!
Here’s a big thank you to Hollaback! Baltimore for sharing with us this awesome questionnaire to help research the correlation between women in leadership positions and their own experiences of domestic violence. The survey has been comprised by Hollaback! affiliate, grad student and Feminist Eye View blogger, Linda Kokenge. Linda worked with Carol Olsen of the Rape Crisis Center in Virginia to try and gather some empirical evidence.
Check out her abstract here and then answer the questions!
“Women who take on leadership roles in the nonprofit or service sector represent a unique group within society. These women tend to work well in a myriad of high stress/low resource situations and have a solid understanding of the social problems that impact the surrounding community. Often times these attitudes and behaviors are not only found in her work life, but in her interpersonal relationships and perception of self. This can become problematic for women in these leadership positions who experience domestic violence in her personal life.
According to the National Collation Against Domestic Violence, domestic violence “is an epidemic affecting individuals in every community, regardless of age, economic status, race, religion, nationality or educational background.” As this is widely understood as true, women who work in nonprofit leadership roles are not immune to domestic violence. Though these women represent a unique group that has its own set of obstacles to overcome when coping with domestic violence, there is very little academic or public attention directed to the issue. I became aware of it only after reflecting on the personal relationships that I maintained while serving as an AmeriCorps VISTA member in Baltimore City. Even after recognizing that a relationship was violent, I was reluctant to leave because it felt like I was giving up; I knew of women that experienced levels of abuse that were far more dangerous than my own and believed that I could handle the situation. The pressures placed on women to maintain a successful intimate relationship while excelling professionally combined with such social factors as stigma and fear of alienation contributed directly to the way that I coped with the violence. I believe that this also holds true in similar experiences of domestic violence.”
This research project looks at the unique obstacles that women in leadership positions have to overcome when coping with domestic violence. Linda Kokenge worked with a woman named Carol Olson, an executive director of a rape crisis center in Virginia, to create a survey in order to gather some empirical evidence. Take part and fill out the survey here!
Looking-at-people-you-find-attractive etiquette
BY REBECCA KATHERINE HIRSCH
Know that jaunty feeling when you’re walking down the street and see a fine-looking individual? Don’t punch them in the face. Because that’s what it feels like to be piercingly stared to the ground, whistled at, lip-smacked, pinched and bullied.
I’ve been doing some thinking about that common street harassment excuse that these things are “just compliments.”
This defense brings up a tricky double bind.
The male privilege (taught, not innate) to stare, mock and hurt (a privilege that many men don’t even consider, never having being raised as women to be constantly alert to attack) exists on an unpleasant continuum of dehumanizing actions that stretches from lewd gestures to physical assault. In other words, the philosophy that Women are Prizes, not people—pretty ornaments, immaterial support systems or peripheral cast members to the Everyman—can encompass everything from mockery to rape.
“Sexuality” as presented in this traditional predator-prey mold is adversarial. Man attacks woman. End of story. And in this impossibly limited characterization, the ONLY way a woman is allowed to receive any power without recourse is to enjoy the male attention, to be a happy recipient of condoned male attention or aggression.
But EVERYONE wants to be admired. This is not a FEMALE trait. Everyone wants to admire. This is not a MALE trait. We all want the same things. The issue is context, duration, awareness of situations. Men are taught to pursue. Women are taught to take it or internally fight it, but certainly not do anything to protest the system that created it.
Everyone wants to look and be looked at in comfortable, erotic, safe situations. But it’s not a compliment if the recipient’s response is anger or hurt. So how do we get to more equilateral gender relations? I suggest 1) valuing and teaching clear communication skills and 2) encouraging people to express desires and boundaries with awareness of the other person’s desires and boundaries.
In other words: The next time you see a hot chick/cad/fellow person on the street, smile. Say hello. Do a little dance if you can’t keep it inside. But don’t be mean. No one wants to bang the mean person. After all, no kind expression of interest will ever warrant the desperate defense that it was “just a compliment.”
Hate Speech & Hockey
BY: ALEX ALSTON
Wayne Simmonds was the victim of a racially charged display one week before when a fan chunked a banana in front of him during a Philadelphia Flyers exhibition game in London, Ontario. On September 24th, however, he found no problem with calling Sean Avery, an outspoken advocate for the LGBTQ community, and forward of the New York Rangers, a “f*cking f*gg*t.” According to Simmonds, his actions were the result of a sucker punch Avery hit him with earlier in the game. Whatever his reasons, Simmonds was wrong. In this day and age of the camera constantly being in every athlete’s mouth, to even “slip up” and say something like this a perpetuation and a promotion of the homophobia that runs rampant in our culture and so blatantly and consistently ends in the deaths of young people across the country. The NHL would do well to react swiftly and decisively because a lack of a response in this case should be understood as nothing less than an endorsement of this type of behavior. We all remember Kobe’s $100,000 fine, so my eyes are fixed on the NHL. What kind of league do they want to be? One that fosters hate speech and homophobia or one that promotes tolerance and equality? Of course they can’t control what every individual player says, but they can set standards that make it clear that bigotry will not be tolerated. Unfortunately, it does not appear as if they plan to enact any repercussions on Simmonds, without any prodding at least. I encourage you all to prod, and to join the 50,000+ other people who have signed the petition to fine Wayne Simmonds for his homophobic slur against Sean Avery. You can read and sign it here.
